i feel like i completely ruined my marriage

[Bummedout]

Angie,

I know you are still waiting for your copy of the divorce remedy book to arrive. When it does, do NOT show it to your husband. It's for you alone.

I just wanted to reiterate what Awoken said. Ten years ago, stupid me bought two copies (DBing book)as soon as I heard of the book. On the way home I dropped a copy off where my wife was staying, hustled home . . .and saw Where we are NOT supposed to do that, at all . . . .Oh crap.

As for how ya deal with the thought of your husband being with someone else. No good answer there. It's gut wrenching and it stays that way for a long time. If it's the case. ya don't know for sure, so kinda hang on that as long as you can.

I found out in a pretty crappy way. I Was walking up to her new house, no curtains yet, and saw her passionately kissing this clown with his hand up her shirt.

Up until then, in the movies when I saw someone vomit because they were so emotional, I thought that was "Hollywood" crap. It isn't. I heaved right then and there . . .probably kept me from doing something too stupid (I did do something stupid of course, but it wasn't as stupid as I might have done if I didn't have Vomit all over myself)

Like these other folks said, gotta work on yourself first. Set some boundaries on the Sex and dating crap . . .nobody can honestly expect you to tolerate that, even if they will try to anyway . . .just in case you'll let them get away with it. DON'T. You're clearly good enough, accept that yourself, then assume, that if you do things as calmly as posible and systematically . . . .you can make him see that you're good enough too. None of it will happen overnight.

I'd say the best thing you can do is simply decide if you want him back if he's been unfaithful. If you do, then it can make it easier to accept. But don't grovel . . .that just invites future cheating if ya'll do patch things up. I'd guess it's probably best to forgive it begrudgingly, don't just accept it cheerfully. On the other hand, ya don't want to throw it in his face every time he doesn't cut the lawn or leaves his socks in the living room (A little humor . . .are ya smiling . . .a little hopefully?) Keep your chin up girl!