I know you are still waiting for your copy of the divorce remedy book to arrive. When it does, do NOT show it to your husband. It's for you alone.
Your peace of mind is found by working on yourself. I know it's really, really hard right now, but you need to start thinking about what YOU want out of life. Not what you want to save your marriage, but what things you want to improve in yourself, what things you want to learn to do, what things you want to enjoy.
Feeling bad about yourself is not attractive; and I know that hurts just the same.
When my wife dropped the bomb on me I eventually started some things to "get a life". Some of them really helped: 1) changed my eating habits: I stopped drinking all soda, and switched to salads for lunch.
2) I started walking everyday. This really made a difference. When my thoughts were the worse, I headed over to a local park and walked until I was exhausted. I had been having a lot of problem sleeping, but when I was this tired, sleep became easier. Between the diet and exercise, I've lost 30 pounds.
3) I shaved off my beard/mustache, got some new clothes, starting wearing cologne. I waited a while to do this, and I wish I had done it sooner. I shaved off the beard just for me because I needed to change something! I was really surprised at the positive reaction from everyone.
4) I reconnected with friends and family that I had neglected over the years. Instead of sitting at home, I could go out and spend my time doing things I enjoy. This was really hard, since I'm not a big social person. I'm now very close with one of my sisters.
5) As to the social thing, my posting here was part of my general efforts to become more social. I was very nervous to make my first post here. I think posting here has really helped me, and I encourage you to participate all you can. The people here are great.
6) I reevaluated how I was as a father. I haven't missed a school event for ANY reason in the past 6 months. Now this wasn't much of a change outwardly since I went to most of them, but somehow this little thing made a big difference to me. Overall, as my wife has pulled out of the family, I've become more and more closer to my kids.
Now, I can tell you that none of this has saved my marriage. But the overall point is that no matter what happens, in the end I'm going to be better a better "awoken" because of these changes I'm making.
You need to do the same things: take care of Angie, become a better Angie. That way no matter what happens, you will come out better off. It's great that you came here. Know that, like everyone here, you deserve a happy and fulfilling relationship with a spouse that loves you for the wonderful person you are.
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
