Okay, I do have a question about this. He's said it twice now, that I just don't seem to care that he's gone. Once was when I was trying to diffuse & said, "I understand why you would be upset." His response was, "that the point! You're not upset at all!"
And again yesterday, when I wasn't arguing with him (which did happen, briefly) or when I was validating some of the things he was saying, he got upset and would make comments about how he wasn't going to "fake being happy" or "pretend that everything is fine".
Does he want me to feel like crap? Does he think that seeing me crushed is going to make him feel better?
No, you're confusing him and he's showing it to you. Confusion is good. It makes them retreat and think things through, on some level.
Keep it up. Validating is great because they can't do anything other since you're agreeing with them. The feelings you leave them with are feelings of being understood.
Validation takes practice. The first time I tried it on H, it fell apart. He claimed I was just giving answers from a book, and he was right.
