help with a plan

[pigskin]

LOL - looks like coach and I are 180 degrees apart on viewing the way you said what you said.

And I wonder why I get confused!

Seriously though, don't beat yourself up over this. You delivered a message. I think what people are trying to say is that you can be more direct about it and less wishy washy (like you said "I will go to MC with you if and when you are ready"). State it in a way that says how sure you are: "We need transparency and MC. If you do not agree to that, we need to begin dissolving the marriage".

But I don't think you screwed up; you just have room for improvement, as we all do.

I don't think you will push your wife away with that message; you are simply stating what the options are and what you are willing to do. If you are not being an a$$, or rude, or saying things to make her feel guilty, you won't push her away. Interact as if you were in a conference room with a bunch of other businesspeople. You wouldn't insult or be rude to the other person, you would simply state facts, as uncomfortable and unwelcome as they might be to the other party.