so instead of focusign on how you f'ed up focus on the stuff you can do
what you can control
there is a lot you can control even though it doesn't feel like it
you can't control him but you can control your actions
I love the muppets in the muppet christmas carol (bear with me) Gonzo and Rizzo have an interaction
Rizzo forgot his jellybeans on the other side of this huge fence that that just struggled mightly to get over
Gonzo looks at the huge fence and you can almost imagine seeing all the frustration of having to try to get back over it to get the jellybeans and then get over it again
Rizzo walks past him and crawls through the gate at the bottom and grabs his jellybeans and crawls back through
GOnzo's mouth is wide open there is a beat and Gonzo starts in all flustered and messing up words and Rizzo looks at him and kisses him on the nose and moves on
Cori and I argue and misunderstand each other when we finally reach that moment where I am looking at him or he is looking at me like what kind of idiot goes through all this work when they just could have done xyz...we look at the other person and kiss their nose
we call it a gonzo kiss
remember...no matter how obvious the answer seems to you or how ridiculous it seems that they are going through all this stuff when really all they have to do is walk over
they don't see it that way
you might not either
you might be fighting so hard against something that you miss the obvious moments
