Well I got "the bombshell" a few weeks ago. Having already been through the DB stuff a decade ago, I got 'proactive' almost immediately. I made a number of mistakes that I don't intend on repeating this time around . . .including parsing the advice I get rather carefully. This ticks some here on the DB boards off actually. It's like they're looking for puppets to play with sometimes.
Too early to tell, but I'm already seeing positive signs, and some of what I've done is contra to what people might tell ya. In other words, look around the site. Don't take anyones word as Gospel . . . most times it isn't. You don't have to spill out the whole thing if you don't want to . . .even if that ticks some folks here off. Talk about what ya feel comfortable with to start. I'd also point out that some here are rather prone to snap judgments, be cautious.
In my mind, you might consider "playing along" a little, see what your hubbys reaction is, and try to be kind of stoic about it all, even if it's tearing you up. When he says he thinks you need to split, matter-of-factly agree he might be right (he might be, actually, but that's irrelevant at this point, in my opinion) See where that goes for a little while.
Good luck, be discerning here, and talk about what you feel like talking about, on your terms, don't let others here intimidate you into meeting theirs.
Life may be short, but . . . well . . . it actually IS short, now that I think about it . . . . particularly when compared to planetary formation and stuff.
