Today was going OK but then I stumbled upon something that has caused me to be concerned.
After I got out of work this morning, I went grocery shopping. I got home, W woke up and walked out the room and then walked back in making noises as if she was aching. I asked W if she was OK, she laid in bed and said she is not feeling well. I asked if she was hungry or needed something to eat to take her meds, she shook her head yes and then said "there is nothing for me to eat though" I then said "I went shopping before I came home from work, then she told me what she wanted and I got it for her, she thanked me then I went to bed.
W was up way before I was. W and I were on our respective computers and chatted with each other at times, conversations did not go too bad.
I was on W computer and stumbled upon recent searches W had done...you can find out what I seen here...
Sounds like she's still in the fog. It sounds kind of like how women will write their first names with the last name of the guy their interested in.
She's still detoxing from the A. IMO.
HOWEVER, you could use this to your advantage. She pretty much detailed what she sees as the ideal romantic actions. Maybe you could do the some of those things but YOUR way.
Just a thought.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I already doing so. Thought the same thing. I found it very odd, this is the first instance she has done something like this and to be honest I thought she was searching for quotes to describe her love for me...foolish me.
I am not sure what the deal is with her looking at wedding dresses either...
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
Sounds like she is fantasizing about finding a new prince on a white steed. Does your wife live in a dream world? Don't take offense, plenty of women do.
Sounds like she is fantasizing about finding a new prince on a white steed. Does your wife live in a dream world? Don't take offense, plenty of women do.
I am not sure how to answer that. For 10 years, despite how I treated her, she treated me like a king in a sense. It is hard to explain and there is a list of example I can give but I took most of it for granted.
This was the first instance where I seen her do such as thing. Lately she has been looking at wedding photos of ours and putting them on facebook and then transferring them to her phone. I was completely sideswiped when I seen this. I don't want to say "it's not like her" because to be honest I don't know what is her anymore.
The only other thing besides this that I found odd , before this, was she sent song lyrics to herself, which are the following
Quote:
Till then, my darling, please wait for me Till then, no matter when it may be One day I know I'll be home again Please wait (till) till then
Our dreams will live though we are apart Our love will always stay in our hearts Till then, when of the world will be free Please wait for me
Although there are oceans we must cross and mountains that we must climb I know every gain must have a loss, so pray that our loss is nothing but time
Till then, we'll dream of what there will be Till then, we'll call on each memory Till then, when I will hold you again Please wait till then (ooh)
When she sent these lyrics to herself I found it odd. Then yesterday she was browsing wedding dresses and on a couple websites pulled up her exact wedding dress she wore for our wedding. Then she started to search for "I love him quotes." Those things in the longer quote, I have done, but she does not seem to remember.
I am not sure what to do at this point, do I continue on with the same strategy, do I poor it on more or do I back off now giving her lots of space.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
I'd say back off. It's not you that she is thinking about. it is someone who she is not with, "Our dreams will live though we are apart". i don't think it is the guy at work either. There is someone else, maybe not a full relationship, maybe just in her head. But none of this stuff is meant for you. You could ask her why she is playing with the wedding pictures. Perhaps ask her to send the best ones to you. I don't see how the wedding pictures fit with the dreams of another man. You are going to have to let this butterfly go, and if her dreams turn out to be just that -- dreams, then she might come back to you.
Besides W uploading/sending pictures of/to herself at our wedding, we communicate much better than we had when the EA was just starting out.
This may or may not be normal for a WAW but W always/usually asks my opinion of something or shows me things. We watched TV, movies and laugh together.
Yesterday, W and I were going through an old photo album of W's family. There were even pictures of us/her in the album from when we first started to date.
I want to back off but I don't want to make her feel like I am avoiding her or not interested in what she has to say/does.
You may be right, this could be in her head. As I said, phone logs are clean, co-workers say things are good at work and for now W keeps me informed as to where she is at/going....
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
I mean when she does finally get it up to move out. Then, let her go. She has to try the world on her own. You do a lot for her. Life on one's own is a struggle. She may decide she had it better before. Then again, she may learn to fly on her own, or she may have some dream man in hiding. Time will tell. Unfortunately, nothing else will.
