MINDFULL... Time to proceed w/the Big D...

[S.T. _I Made It!]

already posted to the old thread unaware, but sending hugs to you.

I agree with Kalni from before that his D day craziness was due to the changes you have made recently with your interactions with him. His world is being torn down and he doesn't know how to handle it. people in A's are very easily brought to anger and stupid actions. You know that this is NOT your H. otherwise your kids wouldn't be so hurt by this.

I know that your H was a good dad because of your kids reactions. sadly, my 8 year old didn't react as badly as yours. he was more the one taking care of me, but that was because my H wasn't really a great dad, and it showed. he wasn't bad, but he was pretty absent. However, he is a great dad now, still room for improvement, me too, but just shows that people can change.

I hope that it doesn't get any uglier, but it more than likely will because of the circumstances. you just keep your cool throughout, and it might even make him more mad, but you will be the one that holds your head up high and the one that chooses the respectful path. Your kids WILL see that and they can learn from it. and in the meantime do not talk badly about H to them, but talk with compassion because he IS their dad, but he has made bad choices and have allowed himself to be tempted, and temptation turns to sin, and sin to death. And the reason they need to learn compassion is because we all sin, and they need to draw understanding, because guess what. I would bet, that in every family, including my own, there is a 50% chance or higher that one, if not all, of our children will come to the crossroads your H did, and will choose the path of temptation, or their spouse will.

you are definitely not alone mindful, and you have many many people who will support you. you are a strong beautiful woman, there is no doubt.

when you are past your anger, open yourself up to encouraging your H's good father behaviors, because that is most important. He was a good father, and he can be an even better one. unfortunately right now, he is in his crisis and enveloped in his own suffering. do not expect good behavior from him right now, he isn't the man you loved or knew right now, he is the man taken over by sin.