Be careful with the LL thing for you. Your "stitch" can color it some. LL's are a gauge to give you a starting point.
i'll try not to focus solely on the LL. but it definitely opened my eyes to our sitch and how i got to where we are today.
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But men are told that this is what women want.. even if they say they don't. Some men think that if women are saying "I don't need this".. it means the want more of it. Typically someone who is a "gifts" person does not buy expensive things. The "gifts" are usually more heartfelt.. and sincere.
but i really didn't need those things. i pride myself on being able to make my own $$ and buy my own things. i spend conservatively and i'm aware of what i need vs. nice to have things.
i feel bad for h because many times he'd ask me what i wanted for my birthday and i couldn't come up with anything. it wasn't because i wanted him to think about something sincere to give me. most of the time, all i wanted was a card with a love letter written inside. spending time reading that card is like a form of quality time for me. it's as if he's right there telling me that he loved me. i still go back to those cards and i read about how much he loved me.
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I bet if you asked him about that "interaction".. he would say it was "more of the same". The prevailing thought thru that statement was you "digging" back at him. I would bet money he saw it to. This is what you have to "hide".. or stop.
that is where i really need to do a 180. he knows when i have this snide look on my face. often he says "you're giving me that look".
i dug into him when we were dividing the wedding photos. i told him that he shouldn't be keeping any of the wedding photos or any of our photos for that matter. this was me.. "why would you want to keep any photos of us? it would be a constant reminder of this huge "mistake" you made in marrying me! didn't you say you wanted to "move on"?" to which he quietly mumbled "no, i never said that." i continued to dig "besides, i don't think your new gf would want you to be keeping photos of your ex-wife around. if she makes you get rid of them, then i might as well take them because at least, i valued our marriage." just to be clear, there isn't an OW but i made that accusation anyway.
the reason why i attack that way is because when you make bold statements like "we have to move on" or "my parents are starting to question my decision to marry you" .. i will use your words against you.
i'm really bad at setting boundaries. i turn true b*tch instead.
