I just can't take it anymore

[Serenity13]

James~

I am sorry to hear you had a rough night and I hope today is a better day for you.

Now lets look at that comment. Im just having a seizure. No text or call to make sure your H is ok. No signs of concern. No phone call to any of my family members especially knowing that they work and I’m the only one here. Not a single thing. That hurts like hell but what can I do? Obviously she does not care about me anymore. This woman has seen me in the hospital because of this and you don’t even check to see if I’m alright.

I am going to say this again...Actually Trent should be here saying it because he reminds me of this about 67 times a week - You are expecting the W you knew to respond - She isn't that person right now...The person she is now doesn't care - I know that isn't what you want to hear however I am not here to sugarcoat it for you...She doesn't care in the frame of mind she is in and the quicker you can understand that, the better off you will be.

Even throughout our separation I have been there for her whenever she’s needed me.

No matter how hard it is - Stop. Doing. This.

You need a better support system then you have in place right now...You need to be able to draw strength when your reserve is running low...I surround myself with people who respect my decision...People who won't allow me to have pity parties all day long...People who love me and care for my well-being...Believe it or not the majority of my supporters are people I have met here...Each one has something different to offer...

Some take a kind and gentle approach while others don't...They all mesh well with me and my circumstances and because of their support I am where I am today...These are people whom I have never met IRL yet would do anything in the world for...

I still have my Pastor...My Church family...My MIL...My family etc...However they don't know exactly how I am feeling and the ones here do...

I’ll have to figure out how to deal with this stuff on my own.

Based on what I have read from you, you know you are never alone...He is right there waiting for you to cast your burdens on Him instead of trying to do it on your own...

That was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn - I had to get to the point where I was on my knees begging Him to take it from me because I couldn't do it on my own anymore.

My Faith is still tested however I am learning as I walk...It gets easier to turn it over to Him with practice.

Remember what I said yesterday - This is your choice...Choose joy or choose sorrow.

(((((Hugs)))))