Last night, after W not speaking to me all evening long, and after I helped the kids with homework because she hadn't started with them after 7:00, I asked her to come outside with me for a minute. I told her this: "You asked me to think about what you said last week about staying at my mom and dad's or sister's house a few nights a week. It took me a few minutes this morning to realize that's what you were talking about when you asked if I was coming home after work or going to my sister's house. I have decided that I won't, I can't leave my kids even for a night. I will go to counseling with you if and when you are ready. I agree that things can't go on like this. I don't agree that things can't get better, or that it's too late, and I definitely don't agree that splitting up would be best for the kids. But, it's your choice. You do what you need to do and I am okay with whatever you chose. I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't love me. It's your choice. Let me know what you decide. I have to go now, such and such from work asked me to come over and help him work on his truck, I will see you later."
I went in the house and told the kids good-night and that I would see them in the morning. Then I left. When I got home @ 10:30, W was asleep on the couch and I went to bed. It stormed last night, so S4 and D6 were in bed with me pretty much all night long.
This morning, no talking, very distant. Got ready for work, told the kids 'bye and left 45 min early. I told her good-bye, also. I was cheery and not an a$$ to her at all.
It feels like a weight has been lifted from me.
It is also scary. I can't help worrying about the kids.
