I am happy this site exists. Thanks for teaching me about the walk away wife.
A few months ago things got tense between wife and I. It was just after Christmas. I also noticed that she was on Facebook like crazy. She started asking me to link our relationship status on Facebook. I was reluctant, I hate people knowing my personal business. I was listed as married and her pictures were on the page. Fast forward to one night in bed and she said "you know you always say if we had extra money it would probably would end it, I am think that's what we should do".
I also started geting more involved in church. Well, we went to bible study and first time in our marriage read the bible in bed. By weeks end, she started changing, wouldn't come to bed and following week went to church w/o me. Well that following Monday, she was off work. I called her for lunch and she went off on me. I came home and the signs were all the there. She had shaved, perfume and late picking up the kids.
Well I found out and she admitted that she went on a date. When I confronted her she then admitted going back to his house and they only kissed. Well, the next day I come home and she texting the guy telling him she loved him if anything ever happened to her. I snatched her phone and read how she was going to leave and take the kids. I asked her to leave for the night so I can spend quality time with kids.
The next day everything hit fan. She said that she was unhappy in marriage and has been. I haven't been the best husband and she doesn't feel loved, etc.... We cried and went to a counselor that same day. She said that she wanted out and didn't want to make it work. She stopped going to counseling after two sessions, I am still there.
I watched movie fireproof and for the past 33 days have been showing love. In addition to my spiritual warfare. Her car note is late, her brakes is bad and she took her paycheck and paid her deposit and rental fee. I am not giving her any money and will share custody of our kids.
The past two days I slept on the couch to get my mind prepared for this seperation. I only struggle should I keep wearing my ring until she moves out. She only want to hang with divorced girlfriends and single moms. Both of our moms are deceased. The o/m is an ex boyfriend, who is a former drug dealer, no kids. Just wondering about the kids.
Well, you're married until you're divorced in my opinion, so I would (and did) keep wearing that ring until then. Despite "the law" nowadays in most states, simply walking out on the family doesn't give one the right to date or end the marriage in the eyes of God.
My biggest regret about the 'other man' thing ten years after my divorce, is not whuppin the other guys ass, or at least not making him as miserable as possible. To my credit, I did take the sleazeballs tires out on his car with my knife while he was standing right there watching. Thought I'd regret that later . . .well, it's been ten years . . . still not regretting it yet. In that case, I didn't have to worry too much about him calling the police, as he had issues, similar to your 'problem man' and was likely more worried about the cops than I was. I'd have likely done it anyway, truth be told.
My ex has even mentioned, though it was well after the divorce and after she dumped that clown, that she actually found that was strangely attractive. On the down side, she also said it made her madder at me because she didn't want to be attracted to me at the time. Go figure?
Life may be short, but . . . well . . . it actually IS short, now that I think about it . . . . particularly when compared to planetary formation and stuff.
It isn't over until it's over. I'm currently dealing with a WAW myself. The biggest problem I see with your situation is that by the time she decided to start letting you know that she was unhappy, she was already going on dates. That's rough, man.
The good news is, if you can forgive her, it doesn't have to end there. The best thing that you can do is to keep it together and continue life for yourself.
However, I don't know where you all stand financially, I would get her brakes fixed if possible. If she gives you any grief about it, calmly tell her that if she is going to be driving your children around in that car it needs to be safe. Then drop it. Don't justify it any further, don't accuse her of not caring, etc. If she says anything about it, just respond as bare minimum as possible. The reason being is that you seem to be the mature one in the situation here, so you might as well be the responsible one: She shouldn't be driving your kids in a car with bad brakes and you are willing to put all the negative feelings and situations behind you for their sake.
In the meantime, keep up the faith-keep up the prayers. I'll keep you in mine, so drop one for me, if you don't mind.
