tired of trying...

[beingreal]

I love that, Laura. I'm committing it to memory now & will use it if necessary.

I did go dark. It broke my heart to see the look on S6's face when I told him that Daddy wanted to call us instead of us calling him. I used "us" so they wouldn't feel it was all about them. But that night on the way to bed he sighed & said, "I guess Daddy didn't have time to call us tonight." Jerk.

I skipped right to the MLC part of DR last night & just cried all the way through it. It is so him. There really is nothing else to do other than GAL & enjoy it. Next week is the 10 year anniversary of the day we met. I hadn't been looking forward to it the way I usually do every year, but I never dreamed we'd be spending it like this.

I did order some new (smaller) jeans & a couple new pairs of shoes. I've been living in one pair of sneakers & an old pair of leather shoes that are falling apart. There was never any money or time to take care of me--everyone else always came first.

I'm going to be stepping into my new life with some way cute shoes & a smile on my face. Even if I have to fake it.