Wildaces, I just read your post and couldn't help but comment. No, children do not bounce back from divorce so well. It leaves scars for the rest of their lives. That's just something WAS tell themselves to try and relieve their guilt or to justify what they have done. Except in cases of abuse children do not fare better in broken homes. Not only have I read this, I see it every day when I go to work at school.
Your W sounds like she is experiencing a lot of guilt. Let her spew roll off your back. Giving your children a set routine and sticking to it gives them security and at least one parent they can trust. You sound like you're doing a great job in a difficult situation.
Take care of yourself, too. Detach further, you can't reason with your W at this time so don't even try. Validate where you can and let the rest go.
You have far more control over the sitch than you realize and I know that's hard to see when you're right in the middle of it.
