Yes, i told c that my attorney said not to let him come for bike. She totally agreed. Im suppose to go to talk to attorney tomorrow. ill ask what he recommends.
This is probably a moot point, but to me it sounded like your H just remarked that he was going to get a new bike IF you didn't give him his old one. It seemed more like an offhand threat instead of a real one. Just seemed like he was getting frustrated at not being able to get his things from you.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Am I reading correctly that you took an AD the other day and one today. They aren't meant for here and there use. You need to be on them daily sister.
I am still on the anti anxiety meds that I got on the first time EXH left. In fact, I tried to get off them a few weeks ago and that didn't go very well and I am now Divorced.
So, I thought why not? I don't have a history like you do of mental issues but I am not to proud to know I need the help and maybe it's becuase I am still dealing with the aftermath of my situation.
We have S's the same age. Be the best mom you can be and seek all the help you can. I too saw a lay counsler at my church but soon realized it didn't help
YOu need to learn / practice some thought stopping techniques. They really helped me when I would obsess about what my EXH was doing with OW. We all do that but you have to find a way to overcome it. Your not alone.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
I am very sorry to hear of your d, but don't ever give up if that is what is in your heart. I don't know if you're a spiritual person but charlyne steinkemps web site rejoice marriage ministries is very helpful. She was d for 2 yrs and got back with her h. I hope your kids are ok. I know my issues were part of the m problems but it was not all my fault. but I don't think there is any excuse for a. But i know I have to focus on myself and my s, I can't change h. I will say a prayer for you and your family.
It seems like if I take AD for 3 or more days i start to feel anxious so I stop taking it, and I feel better the next day but then I need it again. I will ask my Dr. about it. I have read some scary stuff about AD and it makes me nervous about taking it . Maybe if you don't want to get hooked on anxiety meds you could try kava kava it's an herb. it is very good for anxiety, but it can't be taken with other meds.
rysmom...I don't know much about meds...please go see your Dr...you might not have the right one for you. Also, lots of questions were asked in 1000 Ships post...they were questions about YOU...not your H and the first couple of replies you wrote concernerd your H....
It is YOUsweetie that we want to hear about. We cannot do anything about him or any of our MLCer's. Let us know what your Dr says about your meds.
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
His addiction to spending is not from MLC he has been like that since I met him 32 yrs. ago. trying to fill a void with material things and relationships. Never getting in touch with himself. He always needed some distraction from feeling his true feelings.
You know as I was writing the bit about your husband being spend-crazy I thought to myself that your only comment about my post would be to correct me—saying he’d always been that way.
Yeah, I know he’d always been that way. My point is that most of the people on here have spouses who are being spend crazy—the difference is it is a change in their spouses. You are crying your victim’s song to the choir. We know.
And that comment was focused on your husband…that is the march of your refrain.
A lot of the people posting to want to reconcile with their spouses some day. Friends and family don’t get Standing; we’ve heard their confusion and frustration to us
give up
you deserve better
why would you want him anyway
he doesn’t deserve you
you are in a bad marriage
face it, it’s over
your husband is a bad person
there is something wrong with you for wanting him
stop whining
To other friends: We don’t talk to her anymore, all she does is complain about her cheating husband. She is sick.
I guess with you we are getting a taste of that side of it. It’s not about your husband; this is about you. People don’t tire of their Standing friends so easily if the Stander is being active rather than passively complaining about their lousy life. If your friends—and count the people here in that group—see that you are moving beyond doing nothing other than feeling sorry for yourself, they will be able to withstand some complains and vents. We all get angry, sad, frustrated and we come here to vent, it’s okay to do that, we understand. But venting and a pity party are not the same things.
Several people here are concerned that Rysmom’s counselor may not be a good counselor.
Rysmom has said that she is a marriage and family therapist and came highly recommended. Without speaking to the counselor herself, that is enough for me. She may be brilliant. Though yes, there may be a problem with the fit, but I think the problem is the client. The counselor is ineffective not because of her inabilities but because of Rysmom’s unwillingness to be proactive in her own recovery.
Now that said, I do want to give you a pat on the back Rysmom. You are seeing a psychologist, MD and showing a willingness to ask about medications so that you can find something that will be more consistent. And the reason you gave for taking your medication intermittently seemed logical to me. It helped me to understand why you have not taken it each day. Talk to your Dr and Psychologist and consider asking for a referral to a Psychiatrist. When you discover something that works, you will feel better and we will also notice a difference. We are cheering for you.
