Journaling: I fell asleep on the love seat and the kids went to bed and H got up to do the dogs and said in his "I don't want you around" tone "time to go to bed..." I fell back asleep, I was tired, and he came back in and said "don't you think it's time to go to bed." I was like, yah, whatever. I sat up and tried to wake myself up and finally went to sleep with the dogs. No worries, it's not affecting me.
Trying to detach doesn't work until you're ready to do it. Maybe the work I did looking at myself, praying, reading on detachment, etc got me to this point, and I'm not promising that I am totally detached - but something has changed, it feels different this time than a few weeks ago when I had the detachment feelings but wound up getting sucked back in.
This morning was typical with me singing songs and dancing around the dogs, making breakfast - and H alternatively looking at me with confusion and a look that tells me he's trying not to be amused.
Oh, he also sent me some craigslist ads yesterday for motorcycles for me. I know he wants one, and perhaps he feels like if he finds one for me, it gives him permission to get one himself. He said he was looking for cheap bikes and they are all smaller, like what I would need. That sounds plausible, but why send them to me, he could have just ignored them... that was a notable thing, so I'm journaling it also.
Today going to get my taxes filed. You all can hit me hard with 2x4s if I don't... I have been saying every day that I'm going to do it and it's been almost a week. I have to get that done before I lose my mind, I have to file bankruptcy to stop from losing our apartment building, which H is still not done with.
