Aw, hey! Got nothing really to say. smile

But you know me, I can always think of something.

I wanted to give you guys more of a picture of how out-of-his-mind my WH was getting toward the end.

So, first, we were house-hunting. Never told ya that 'cause I almost forgot, but we were! For years and at first in our search, he was like "condo." Then, apartment. We also thought about new townhouses. He was just so sure he didn't want to do any housework that houses require. I totally agreed, looked into condos, etc. Then one day we were driving around neighborhoods just getting a 'feel' for them. And he said, "I think we should get a fixer-upper." And he talked about redoing rooms. This is what I said: "Um. . . I don't think you actually DO want that. That is a heck of a lot of house work." And he got really agitated at me for saying that was what he didn't want. But I said, "WH, I know that in the end, it's just going to be ME doing all of the work! And I don't want to."

He dropped it. (Because that is so true. Can you imagine if we had bought a fixer upper and then he left? Geez.)

Then he wanted to get his own mode of transportation. (We'd been sharing a car for years.) So he was-- for weeks-- trying to figure out if he was a "bike" guy or a "motorcycle" guy. Or just a regular car guy. It was like all different parts of his personality were conflicting for his attention. The bike would help him be healthy and would save money. The motorcycle could save money and looks so cool. He didn't have much rationale for a car, but that's what he ended up getting. (As I said before, a 1989 clunker.)

Ultimately, I feel that WH was still FOLLOWING at this time. I think he was just following a new group and couldn't figure out what those people would want more.

I really hope that in therapy he can really see how desperately he tries to fit in to whatever group he thinks is cool. And then figure out who exactly he is! I think that's another reason why it is sort of easy for me to let WH be. He NEEDS to figure out who he is without my influence. I can't be with him if he hasn't done that. So. . . yeah.

So that's all I could think of to say! I'll try to go back to sleep now. . .