Thank you my kind friend...It is always nice to see you on my thread.
Originally Posted By: Awoken
pondering your interactions with your children and your H
This is by far the hardest...I don't bad mouth him, I don't disrespect him and I don't judge him or his actions around the boys...I know for a fact he doesn't show me the same respect, however it is extremely important to me that my boys see me take the high road as much as possible...
When I first came here all I wanted to teach them was to fight for what you believe in regardless of how bad you got hurt...Along the path that changed to being true to yourself no matter what...My H and the troll can demonize me all they want, to whomever will listen....No matter what they say, the respect I garnered from my sons' based on my actions will never be taken from me and that is what matters the most to me...
I handled myself with dignity, with grace and with self-respect...Neither my H nor the OW will ever be able to say that...
My 14 year old sat with me on Saturday night and said the following to me - "I would rather live in a trailer on food stamps with you and my brother then with Daddy/OW in a house with a pool."
All along I thought he would choose Dad because Dad is the fun one, Mom is the one with the rules...He choose me - No matter how poor I am or how many rules I set - He choose me based on what I project to him and little man...
The material things don't matter - What matters is how you conduct yourself...
He sees first hand how much disrespect my H shows me yet I still smile and walk away...He asks me how I will ever forgive his Dad...How I would ever want him back and then states I need to divorce him because I deserve better in my life.
This is the same young man who threatened to kill me back in Jan...
I am proud he can see how I handle every interaction I have with my H...The calmer I remain, the more pissed off H becomes...Then his actions turn ugly and I can walk off with my head held high...
I didn't have to wait for the karma bus...My H is driving it in the way he portrays himself and he doesn't even know it...
If at the end of each day you can look at your children and know you did the absolute best with the lessons you are trying to teach them, then you had a wonderful day.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
