Am I reading correctly that you took an AD the other day and one today. They aren't meant for here and there use. You need to be on them daily sister.
I am still on the anti anxiety meds that I got on the first time EXH left. In fact, I tried to get off them a few weeks ago and that didn't go very well and I am now Divorced.
So, I thought why not? I don't have a history like you do of mental issues but I am not to proud to know I need the help and maybe it's becuase I am still dealing with the aftermath of my situation.
We have S's the same age. Be the best mom you can be and seek all the help you can. I too saw a lay counsler at my church but soon realized it didn't help
YOu need to learn / practice some thought stopping techniques. They really helped me when I would obsess about what my EXH was doing with OW. We all do that but you have to find a way to overcome it. Your not alone.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too