Piano, dont take your 's decline on your invite personally. He was probably too scared of what it would mean... R talk? D talk? OW talk? etc. he obviously has his own fears. And although i am sure it hurt you so deeply, try to understand that H is scared to be alone with you. maybe even afraid of what he might feel?
If you want him to go to the appointment with you, dont disinvite him. Meet him there, act friendly, say goodbye. Him being there will not really do you any harm and maybe he needs to take some responsibility and be there! One thing I noticed in all relationships, between H and W, siblings, friends, etc. you can assume what the other person feels or thinks. Dont tell him not to show up if you are spiting him bc he declined your invite; only do it if you truly do not want him there. he could have said he was too busy to go to the appointment, and maybe if nothing else this can begin to create a bond with your baby.
i know its hard, but in the end these baby's deserve to know we tried OUR hardest to have their father's in their lives. Look at NM and the stregnth she has in sharing baby with her H.
I dont know... i guess I'm just basing theories off of what is working for my sitch, but dont push him further away... let him walk on his own... but let him do that.
As for BIL, is it hard for you to know he is always hanging out with your H? How long is he staying with you?
My SIL came over last night just to hang out and say hello. It was nice... she is also PG. We shared pregnancy stories and had fun. Its nice to have a connection to them. She will one day be my son's aunt as your BIL will someday be your daughter's uncle. So it would be good for your baby to see you have somewhat of a friendship with her family, albeit somewhat awkward.
About owning the separation... I noticed the times i am my lowest and cry, are always when i feel sorry for myself. Yes, I think too, how can this be my life. then i hear the voices that say, then do something about it!!! What our H's did to us is disgusting... but we need to take the control back and start living life and appreciating what we have. I know its so hard. But you need to pick yourself up... for you and the baby.
Everyone does dismiss the fact that I am going through a separation with my H. and always go on to saying baby this and baby that and be strong, and you have a life mroe important than your own, etc. and as much as it hurts to hear it, maybe they just dont know what else to say. I wouldnt know what to say if I were in their shoes...
Your family support sounds great... how long will you stay with your mom? Will BIL be alone at your place at that time?
