screwing up big time and need help

[elvencat]

Thanks Hopeful. I feel better today than I have in days. I have a clear idea in my head of what I need to do and now I just need to do it. It's so hard to not attack him and defend myself and beg and plead.

Actually, I did something this morning that I'm not sure if it was DB compliant, but it made me feel better. I told H that I was sorry for my outburst and that no matter who bad I was feeling I shouldn't have attacked him like I did. Instead of just leaving it at that, he said "yeah you were b**chy". I normally would have responded in kind, but instead I looked him straight in the eye and asked "do you agree I had a right to be?" He looked taken aback for a sec and then said, "yeah, but..." Before he could get out the but part, I said, "that's all I needed to hear" and I walked off.

Wow that felt good to get a validation from him that my emotions were not unfounded.