WAS attitude upon return

[AtTheEnd?]

I told her only that one time, when I was on the spot. I knew it was wrong after, but I didn't exact realize why. She doesn't believe that it can work out, and wanted to know why I had faith. She was full speed ahead with the D, but stopped at some point. She says her anger is gone, but is wondering at what point we give up. She says that it's been a year, and when do we stop waiting for her feelings to change. I continue to be supportive and positive.

I did lose my cool a little bit and told her that she could file at any point. That I'm alright with it. She wanted to know why she has to make all of the hard decisions. I told her that she wants the divorce, not me. That she was alright with it before, why is it so hard now? Not the best way to end the conversation, although I did get a good point out, don't recall what it was. She was very nice that evening when I picked up the girls and was again on the phone today. It's a back and forth thing. I just keep going one day at a time, and try to give her every opportunity to salvage this.

I know that by giving her what she wants, out of the house, etc. isn't the best DBing tactics, but I was late to this site. I have tried to stay true to the principles of DBing, mainly doing what is right for myself and daughters.

Everything is trending in a positive direction, I just don't know how it can get past the last large hurdle that she sees before us (uncomfortable with touching me, sexual attraction). When I was paritally dark, it really drew her in after time, but now I've really jumped the gun.

Getting a new apartment, and having a third party babysitter's house for the summer will limit opportunities and may actually be a good thing. It will possibly make her wonder what is going on in my life. There also aren't any family holidays to worry about.