Thanks for the reply. She actually said that she likes the person that I have become, and that it bothers her that she doesn't feel attracted to me. It bothers her that she feels uncomfortable not when I give her a hug, but pick her up. She really moved towards me and didn't complain at first (liked it), but then I jumped the gun and she backed off. This is moving in the right direction, but I guess that I need to continue to DB.
It's confusing and harder now that I have hope. Same friend told me that she wants to lead a happy and independent life (will be a struggle to be happy). She will miss me in her life in the long run. Sure enough, Saturday conversation about what is attractive about her and well a good friend of ours, and the first thing out of her mouth was "independence".
As far as being the husband, partner, etc., all that I can be for now is friend. This is what she said and expected. She enjoys my company but isn't attracted to me. For the last year, I've worked so very hard on myself and I'm very proud of who I have become (although I have a long way to go). I've read so much material, worked out, changed hair styles, got a new wardrobe, whitened teeth.
She doesn't see a resolution to this other than divorce, and I try to tell her to have faith. I tell her that I believe she will regain those feelings with time. I told her that deep down she feels love for me, but it's not there at the moment. It will return. She was worked up by this point and said that a part of her will always love me, but thinks she has gone through too much to ever be intimate with me again. I should've said that I don't know how or when it will come together, but that I believe it will and we will know it when it does. I keep putting my foot in my mouth and doing dumb things now that I see a chance. It's killing me that I'm destroying this, and doing it to myself.
Suggestions?
M:39 W:37 Together: 16 years Married: 11 years Bomb: May '09 (ILYBNILWY) Moved out: Nov '09 D: 10, 8, 4
