Reading your post I felt like I was reading about someone talking about my husband. Especially the part about the 10 years. My h told me if I had only changed 10 years ago when he had hope, then our marriage could have worked. LOL!
I also have ADD. Actually my entire family has ADHD.....we just all have different varieties. So, it's a real challenge for a couple to both have ADHD and the h is in MLC! My advice to you is to read all you can about MLC. Get one step ahead of him so when he starts spouting this stuff, you won't be shocked. You'll be prepared for it.
The thing that is the hardest for us with ADHD is keeping our mouth shut! But, you have to try your best to not react to your husband. He is baiting you. He's trying to get you upset so that you will react like the crazy person we can become by overreacting. So, next time he starts that, take a deep breath and think before you say anything at all. That gives you time to be in control of yourself.
And, I'm not kidding about my husband saying just about verbatim everything your h told you. I swear they have the same script to follow. Just remember when he is throwing those fiery darts at you, it's because he feels so horrible about himself that he wants to spread the blame and misery to you! The more he hates about himself, the more garbage he will throw your way.
You're in the right place. Hey, we're all in this together!
