"H, Wondering if you would like to have an afternoon tea on your birthday? I am at the hospital for maybe the last checkup at 11.15 that morning. You can attend if you like." (wife)
Response: (Hi wife) I have an appointment at 12 that day, but I am going to try to move it later so I can come with you to the hospital. (H)
Back to being 'business like' and no thanks for acknowledging his b'day. I guess I was fishing and got my answer. What an idiot I am! Only interested in the baby, not me, nor marking his 40th together in any other way than sitting with me in a checkup.
I'm of a mind to backpeddle and tell him that there's a change of plans (of time or something) or that on second thoughts I would take my mother since it's any day now and she's the one going to be in the birth and I would benefit best from her accompanying me.
Broke down yesterday - I said to my mum that I cannot believe my reality. I've waited 8 months for H to join me, and it's like he never did, never made it.. the last time I saw "him" was when I waved him bye and got on my plane. He's chosen to be dead to me.
Sorry for the wallowing and self pitying, but being deposited on the other side of the world with a baby to raise alone while he promises to return to the 'bachelor life' with OW... wow...still don't know how the heck to get my head around this gals. I realise I am still in shock and probably need professional help on this matter (all my current therapy is more about watching that I don't tip into being a neglectful mother, but is not really helping me come to terms with my M problems - it;s like most therapists don't want to deal with anything by motherhood when faces with a preggo. I find it's the same with the vets here).
BIL is seeing WAH more frequently at the moment and it seems to be going well between them...
I had a friend over for dinner last night and realise I was a bit tired to be cooking meals! By dessert, bub was moving massively as if she was trying to burrow her head further down into position..?? Startling!
