[u]what oldpilot said [/u]...but imho, despite the 18 months, your h does not sound as if he's through a lot of this IF it's MLC. I'd say 2 more years, IF I HAD TO BET, which I don't, but wth? Forget how long it's been for a minute. See where he IS right now. It ain't close to being ready for a recon and he may never be. But I know 2 couples who div and later remarried. Seems they kind of had to divorce rather than try to "work it out" in a way. I mean I think for them, they had to get the true space of freedom to realize what they could have had. And it took 5 and 8 years for the couples, repectively. Neither couple div with the expectation of a recon. They each changed, and improved and were on their own. Met OPs too.
Down the road, since they were friendly enough to converse (which took a lot of detachment and letting go) the Xhusband in one case and the Xwife in the other, they talked about the kids and events. Milestones, etc. Finally one asked the other if he/she was happier now...and he/she said "not so much happier but at peace" and they realized they had all changed, for the better. They wanted to try again, but took it slowly. Years later, my uncle died of cancer. My aunt (the ex wife turned wife again) was at his side with their children, a real miracle. It happens. But again, detachment and growth on all sides is what that took.
You have not done that. If you did, maybe it would speed things up and make your life better now, OR maybe it would only make your life better now and from now on. Isn't that enough to make it worth really doing? j
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
