No Kat, he has always been this way, in hindsight. The paradox/contradiction of his life was that he couldn't wait to get away from all the jerks in high school, but he also built his entire future around his dream of coming back to work the family farm.
Our school was like a lot of little schools (108 per graduating class roughly) I suppose. You have the top dogs with the right last name whose families are 'big' in town. So they start on all the sports teams, get away with murder (ok not murder but cops look the other way on minor in possession, etc), and basically run the show.
He hated those guys/gals bc they made him feel inferior due to his lack of money, cool car, etc. It is funny that he always says he could care less what a$$holes like that think and yet he admits in his weakest moments that part of the reason he 'needs' money for new trucks, more cows, etc is to stick it to those guys and prove he is better than they are?
Then there were the 'river rat' kids as they called themselves. Hung out riding 4 wheelers and drinking beer down by the river, most didn't go to school beyond highschool, lived in our town their whole lives, etc. He feels better than them which again would make him like the cocky kids he hated bc they thought they were better than everyone else??
Just found a fare out of MCI to Phoenix for $240.00!! that is in June, obviously it could change but that isn't bad for RT. I am going to look at the same dates for Las Vegas. Just to compare. Be right back!
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Vegas is $362! That is a shock. It isn't non-stop either. I am sure there are better fares but that is just for the same days in both cases. Thinking...
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I'm still trying to figure out what to do for summer vacation in the second half of July. I was going to take the kids to Glacier, Jasper and Banff NP's and pass by and see Wooglint, but alas, he no longer lives in Idaho. The kids want me to take them to Vegas again.
Looking at mid July flying from Kansas City to Tucson is $263.00 roundtrip. That would be the 15th-19th. didderent dates may change the rates a bit but I wanted an idea. Where would you fly out from?
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I have been trying to figure out why I am so bent out of shape about this kissing/touch thing. Other than the obvious 2 year drought!
I know that's one thing I yelled at Dan for last fall when we were going to try again (allegedly! )....because he had been having the A the whole time.
I said, "You know, I have gone 18 months without hearing someone say, You look pretty today, I love you, I can't wait to see you, etc. And 18 months without being hugged, kiseed, greeted, ML to, etc. And here you are acting so tortured and you have gotten that all along, all this time, sometimes from both of us..." I haven't said it since last September but I still think it sometimes.
Maybe that is why I have held out more optimism for people I already know (Golf Guy, old HS boyfriend, R, etc)...because there is already a certain level of comfort there.
I mean sure I could go to Omaha tonight in the right outfit and attitude and find SOME guy to make out with. But I want to have that connection, that partnership feeling. And I don't even mean like a serious relationship feeling. But as simple as both of you laughing at that weird thing you saw driving in the car or teasing each other about a bad shot in golf....
Heck even this morning I was on Fandango and saw the trailer ofr a new movie, Jonah Hex, based on a wester comic/graphic novel series...Artist/Cartoon guy had shown me some sketches he'd done of that character so when I saw the trailer I thought of him. I miss being able to see or hear something and having that person to call or text and say, "Guess what I just saw!"
I want to be SEEN and HEARD by somebody...does that make sense or sound pitiful?
I have been trying to figure out why I am so bent out of shape about this kissing/touch thing. Other than the obvious 2 year drought!
I know that's one thing I yelled at Dan for last fall when we were going to try again (allegedly! )....because he had been having the A the whole time.
I said, "You know, I have gone 18 months without hearing someone say, You look pretty today, I love you, I can't wait to see you, etc. And 18 months without being hugged, kiseed, greeted, ML to, etc. And here you are acting so tortured and you have gotten that all along, all this time, sometimes from both of us..." I haven't said it since last September but I still think it sometimes.
Maybe that is why I have held out more optimism for people I already know (Golf Guy, old HS boyfriend, R, etc)...because there is already a certain level of comfort there.
I mean sure I could go to Omaha tonight in the right outfit and attitude and find SOME guy to make out with. But I want to have that connection, that partnership feeling. And I don't even mean like a serious relationship feeling. But as simple as both of you laughing at that weird thing you saw driving in the car or teasing each other about a bad shot in golf....
Heck even this morning I was on Fandango and saw the trailer ofr a new movie, Jonah Hex, based on a wester comic/graphic novel series...Artist/Cartoon guy had shown me some sketches he'd done of that character so when I saw the trailer I thought of him. I miss being able to see or hear something and having that person to call or text and say, "Guess what I just saw!"
I want to be SEEN and HEARD by somebody...does that make sense or sound pitiful?
When I dated that guy briefly in December, there was none of that chemistry. I think that is the thing we are looking for, that connection with someone that gives you the butterflies in your stomach just when you catch them looking at you.
I am glad I am not the only one looking for that. The one friend that I have that tried hooking me and Biker Dude up said I should stop looking for that "chemistry" because that should come later.
But if its there, its there. Its not going to mysteriously develop.
Doesn't sound pitiful to me at all.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
