During packing for the move, I went through a lot of old pictures. So in that process, I have had a lot of time to reflect on the events they represent. And several points came to light and are still fresh on my mind.
I am still missing so many photos from our early M, when it was just me, her and my dog. I try not to concern myself with the fact that xW has retained all the photos of herself when we were still happily M'ed -- I can understand if she doesn't want me to have evidence of her and who she was from that period.
What I do miss are the pictures of my dog, Angus, from that time-frame. I have mentioned him before in my threads. Angus was our surrogate child for many years, and he was prevalent in LOTS of our pictures back then. I have pictures from before we got M'ed and after the separation, but barely any from during the M.
As for the couple of scant images of xW from that period that I do have, I look at these pics now and can only see a different person altogether. At most I see in these old photos the "good twin" -- who has since been erased and replaced by her "evil twin" of today, like in some cheesy sci-fi cliche. Or the changeling mythology.
But mostly it makes me think I am looking at someone who has died. I can't really seem to associate the past person with the current one anymore.
Maybe that is or is not a healthy way to learn to cope with a loss like that. I don't know.
