SR, just to add, I know how heart breaking it is to watch your child dealing with this grief. I remember about a year before W and I separated, we had a huge fight and it got ugly. My girls heard the whole thing which I was totally ashamed of. That evening when the girls went to bed, their mom had said good night and gone out. I went up and they were both crying because they had asked Mom whether we were going to get a D and Mom said "I dont' know" and left. I sat them down and said "I think it's time we had a talk girls" I said "you know things are not good between Mom and I and haven't been for a long time. Mom doesn't love me like she used to but I still love Mom as I always have. Sometimes this happens to people when they've been married a long time. I'm going to try my best to be a good husband and Dad and hopefully Mom will love me again but that may not happen. There may come a day when we can't live in the same house together." We then talked about what separation might look like, how they'd live with mom one week and me the next etc. The girls biggest fear was that I would just get up and leave one day like many of their friends Dad's did. I said " I can't promise you that we'll always be together like we are now but I can promise you that I will NEVER just get up and leave you...NEVER." My youngest, who was 9 at the time said, "if my Daddy says he won't do it, then he won't do it. My Daddy's not a liar!" Wow, I almost broke down in tears. I took the bull by the horns and dealt with it. I didn't blame their Mom but dealt with their fears. SR, you might want to sit down and say "we may not ever live in the same house together, I hope we will but it may not happen. We both love you and you will always be number one with both Mom and Dad no matter where we live...." Give her what she can handle without blame. I hope this helps.
