Wow, it has been a while since I posted. The last conversation I had with W, I said that it wasn't fair that I would have to incur all the finance costs to refi.
I told her I still do not want a D. She said that is not what I said when she dropped the bomb in Jan. I said I was aknowledging that the R was not working the way we were doing things. I told her I understand that she feels unloved because I haven't shown her love in a way that she recognizes lately. I said that I understand how she feels and that before the bomb, I haven't felt unloved but marginalized and neglected. I told her our situation is a product of bad priorities and communication, and not about incompatibility. She said she does not think she can go back because the decision to split was too painful. I told her I have to trust that she will think about things and make the best decision for her. She said she really appreciated me saying that. She also said she completely understood how my work affected the R by stressing me out, tiring me out, causing me to put off vacations as to not get behind.
However, she wanted me to find out the process of getting her off the mortgage and said we could find a fair settlement to the equity.
About a week and half ago, she called my cell and left a message to call her because she wanted to talk about something. I didn't call thinking she would call the house later, (and knowing I haven't done anything about the mortgage). Anyway, I haven't called her back and she hasn't called again.
I think she suspects that I am trying to manipulate her with not returning calls and this no contact. I think she doesn't mind waiting me out.
I think I may call her tomorrow since she made the last overture. Besides, there may be a chance that our last conversation may have her thinking a bit differently. I have to say I feel petty avoiding her calls even though I understand she needs to see me as not waiting to talk her all the time.
