WAH in MLC with PA

[DiamondGirl]

I was just reading a few posts and kept reading (what I already knew) about being kind to the WAH. I wasn't very kind to H this weekend and regret it now (yeah I know.. you all told me..).

I find it so hard to not let my anger get to me when I'm communicating... It's like I'm afraid to be kind to him because I feel like I shouldn't be?? It is so hard to remember that this man who is doing such horrible things to our family is the same one who used to promise to love me forever...

I'm afraid that if he does ever hit bottom, all he'll remember of me is that I was angry and mean..

It's so hard right now to be respectful towards him when I just want to keep screaming at him...

I feel like I'm blowing a potential future with him because of my lack of empathy and compassion skills... I didn't have much of an example of those when growing up and my dad always used to downplay and shame any overt affectionate displays..

With H when we were dating.. the loving feelings brought the rest out naturally...

How do you love and respect someone who is so unlovable at the moment??