tired of trying...

[beingreal]

Thank you everyone for your insight and ideas. I don't have much time, need to get the kids off of the bus.

Just got off the phone with him. I realized he had a few other things that belonged to S8 that he had taken with him, he was decent last night, so I called to ask him to add one more thing to the list.

He went off on a tirade. I threw him out, I did this, I did that, I did more for my friends who didn't do sh!t for me, blah blah blah. I stayed calm and did a lot of, "I'm sorry you feel that way" and "That is not the way I remember it". He brought up what I had admitted, that I had pulled away from him so much that I'd "neglected" (his words) my own family. I told him there was more to it and that he needed some time to look at himself, he wasn't ready to talk.

Then he just got nasty..."Why don't you just admit it? Why don't you just tell everyone the truth? 'I'm a f#@$ing bitch who threw my husband out!' Huh, why don't tell everyone what a f@#$ing bitch you are???"

Deep breath & interrupted him.

"I'm going to have to stop you, H. You will not talk to me like that. You will not call me names. We will not speak until you stop. Please call me when you feel you can be civil."

"Oh, whatever, you are a f%$#ing bitch! Admit it."

"Okay, then. Goodbye, H."

Click. I left him yelling at me on the other end of the phone.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was back in the gym today for the first time in almost a month. I told my trainer the four things I wanted before H could come home. He asked me if I thought H would actually do them.

No. I don't think he will do any of them.


As much as it hurts, I really think this is hopeless.