Husband being hateful and cruel. Is this a stage?

[AJM]

AJM,
A long time ago a pastor and a counselor told me I should divorce my husband. I didn't go that route and they later came to me and apologized to me saying they were wrong. So, I hope you aren't making a decision based upon these 2 opinions. Make sure it's what you feel inside, which I'm sure you have.

You are right. I know there is a part of me that still doesn't want this. But they were not the only ones I talked to and my reasons were not that I quit, but rather stopped fighting her for the divorce. Part of me knows that after several years of carrying this alone, it's time for her to carry things - either apart or together. What I've done is to stop fighting her on the divorce. Am I done? Not yet but I'm working on it. I have given up hope that things will be different. I have to at this point since I'm completely out of options. I have no regrets and I have nothing I would differently. It was time to face the reality and let her go. If she tries to come back, that's one thing, but I can't see that happening. It's painful because I see that she killed the old her - I have the triple whammy of watching the train wreck/bridge building process, seeing her walk away from the kids as well as me and old friends, and being totally exhausted. This has been going for years and there literally are no other options for me. She wants this. She gave up long ago and I'm having to go with it. Time to move on.
That's not to say I hate her. I don't. I don't feel much of anything.

You are doing a very good job. You are very strong and much stronger than you ever thought you would be. Really. It may be a while, but you are doing very well and should keep up the good work. He is not done. He has way too much emotion towards you. Hang in there.

AJ