How is it my W can justify her actions? I don't understand it. I'm bloody confused as to how someone can treat another like she treats me. Expecting everything and yet returning nothing. Does it matter? Does any of this really matter? If someone can state with out a waiver in their voice and look me in the eye and tell me that someone else is taking better care of them what do I do? I have no desire to suffer any more. Honestly it isn't me that is suffering it is my children. Can one be so blind and bound to themselves that they don't see it. I'm tired of hearing "their children they'll bounce back" I don't care they shouldn't have to go through it at all.
W came over late last night and ended up crashing at the house. Said that she wasn't feeling good because of her kedney infection so she didn't want to have to wake up at 4 am to come to my house. So my kids think that since mommy is at the house that they can get away with not going to sleep and they keep crying. Well I stick to my guns and just keep sending them back to bed and making sure they stay in bed. I dont get upset I just stay adament about them keeping to their routine. Well W gets defensive and says that I don't have to be so 'angry' that since I(w) haven't been here that is why the kids are acting out. Well I say that just because you stay here one night doesn't mean that they should have their routine screwed up, that I have been doing it alone for four months and that they are going to sleep in their own beds and they will sleep. She goes on the defensive and says that I'm making her feel bad and that she is their mother and that I shouldn't make her feel that way. Well I stopped her there and told her that I'm not making her feel any way that if she feels bad or upset it is because of her not me. That I am just doing what I have been doing and it isn't going stop.
So I get little to no fricken sleep last night because she comes into my room and honestly I should have just told her not to. Every conversation we had last night went no where. She is moving out of her friends apartment some time soon and moving into another friends. Though I honestly think she is going to move in with OM.
I'm still being manipulated and controlled by what she does and says. Sad thing is she knows it. It is really hard to detach from someone that you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with.
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
