I had a bit of a revelation- seeing that what I mentioned is definitely the case- How does it make me feel?
On the one hand I know it does not matter- that I am expendable to W...I am only saddened that the M did not work out. For many months I self destructed and went into a deep depression over this (the feeling of being left and worthless- I embraced much more than my share of fault).
Today this is not the case- I have owned exactly my share of fault and do not wish to act it out again in any R or M.
