I think this is good. What is most important here is that you begin to focus on yourself. You have been doing all the work and also putting all the expectation on the M. She doesn't want to do the work and has no expectations. That's where you have to get to but not for the same reasons. She is indifferent. You want to save your M. She is running away from you and you were chasing her. See?
You will get somehwhat different advice from others on here that condone strategies. I don't. Stratgeies =expectations and expectations are the downfall of good men.
You have to put the focus on YOU and detach from the emotional trauma present in your M or you will get more of the same in terms of results.
When she argues with you for now just listen and validate her feelings. DON'T ARGUE. It doesn't mean you have to agree with her.
This could be a long road but the quicker you start it the quicker it will begin to be over.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
