I got an email saying stbxH wasn't coming until Monday to get his stuff. I thought it was weird so even though I was prepared (with brother and best friend here) I figured ok well he's not coming. We were just here kinda messy...in a robe and in bathing suits from being in the pool.
There is a knock on the door and it's him. I kinda freaked cuz I wasn't expecting but it went ok. He got his things. I think he was surprised I had them all boxed up and his empty closet filled with my things.
He asked to take a small computer and the living room tv (the least expensive one) so I said ok. He dared to ask me for the PS3 which I said, "I don't think the kids would like that." He had the nerve to ask me for a bottle of wine from Mumm (a vineyard in Napa Valley) we went two years ago and bought 4 bottles of really good stuff. I said, "no...I gave you back the Monogamy bottle you gave me." ha!
He looked visibly sad...I felt bad for him. I asked him how he was doing he implied "not good" and shook his head at me. I thought to myself..tell me about it...isn't this what you wanted?
I actually felt bad for the man who has treated me so badly...has abandoned his family and his wife...I had to remind myself...this was HIS choice.
Ok...well...I have my best friend and brother here and so I will try and enjoy myself tonight despite what has happened to me today....my life as I knew it...OVER.
Luv
Last edited by luvless; 05/08/1011:26 PM.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
He had the nerve to ask me for a bottle of wine from Mumm (a vineyard in Napa Valley) we went two years ago and bought 4 bottles of really good stuff.
Possibly for memories...?
Originally Posted By: luvless
I asked him how he was doing he implied "not good" and shook his head at me. I thought to myself..tell me about it...isn't this what you wanted?
There's lots I'm doing that at times hurts my W. I think they are 180s and setting boundaries, but I can't guarantee I'm not screwing up the best I'll ever have.
I wonder...if he was having an affair, why wouldn't he feel great to get out?
I got an email saying stbxH wasn't coming until Monday to get his stuff. ..... There is a knock on the door and it's him. I kinda freaked cuz I wasn't expecting but it went ok.
Not even a phone call to inform you of his change of plans? Disrespectful. Boundary-violating. Effing with your head, too, perhaps, keeping you off balance.
Originally Posted By: luvless
I think he was surprised I had them all boxed up and his empty closet filled with my things.
Ha! Good for you! Reality. Consequences.
Originally Posted By: luvless
He had the nerve to ask me for a bottle of wine from Mumm (a vineyard in Napa Valley) we went two years ago and bought 4 bottles of really good stuff. I said, "no...I gave you back the Monogamy bottle you gave me." ha!
Love it!
It is what he wanted. It was his choice. Try not to feel bad (for him). It's hard. I know.
Originally Posted By: luvless
my life as I knew it...OVER.
Your new, eventually better, life as you don't know it yet it is about to start! Stay strong. Stay positive.
(((Luv)))]
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Luv, I`m sure Mr. L is hurting and confused. Not everyone can handle the consequences of their own choices. Cool part: not your problem (except as a mother). I`m actually starting to take a minor satisfaction in remembering that all of H`s sh!t is out of my control and therefore not my problem.
hugs.
Last edited by flowmom; 05/10/1001:58 AM.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
OT - let me burst your bubble lol my very cold soon to be X husband did not want the bottle we bought on a lovely trip to Napa Valley for memories. He wanted it because it's good. Sad but true. If he cared about memories he'd be asking me about pictures and there was none of that.
Gardener - not his fault for the paralegal mix up - it was a mistake. Yeah, you're right this was all his choice. I gave him a tv a small computer and his things. Oh and I was so nice to give a phone charger. The drunk a** probably left his in a hotel room somewhere. I was regretting giving him one. He is so nasty towards me why do I care to be nice to him? He has ignored every text and almost every email so what is wrong with me?
Flow - yeah...not my problem anymore huh? he will now know how he took his wife for granted when no one is there for him like I was. Oh well like Gard says = consequences.
CG - one big hug to a very good friend.
I actually am feeling ok today. I don't have that awful sad feeling so I'm good. I've gotten a lot accomplished today. I feel tired...a little weak/worn out so I'm gonna chill for the rest of the evening. I will watch some tv with my babies...I just love those guys.
Thanks guys for being here.
Luv
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
remember you don't know what they are REALLY thinking luv.
your H is sad. he's sad for a reason. and I'm glad you felt sorry for him
but you just focus on making your life good and good for the kids, do not be rude to your H, just be respectful even if he isn't, but hold onto your boundaries you've made.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I am glad you are feeling okay today. I am sure you are exhausted from your situation. I think it is just your brain telling you need a break from this whole mess to move forward a little. Rest is good, and it is nice to spend time relaxing with your "babie." Good for you to do that with all the stress and emotions you must be feeling.
Keep moving on!!! Rolling, Rolling, Rolling...
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097