What to do when their friends suggest leaving?

[DaddyLongShanks]

What was "it"? Being cheated on? Or a combination of her pulling away and cheating on you. Was she also echoing a negative sentament on you at the same time?

No, what I meant by "it" was 'talking to her friends' about me. Didn't know about the rest of it either, heheh, but I meant talking to her friends about me in this instance.

So she started hanging out with these females who didn't like her at first.

I don't know what they thought of her at first, only that she didn't think much of them.

How did they lure her in, and where they still hanging around after the house was broken up?

I have no idea how, or even if they "lured her in" so-to-speak. They worked together in close proximity, and having been in work environments myself where one works in close proximity to others, I suppose it just sorta "happened". That's just speculation on my part though. Who really knows? And yea, they were around for awhile after it all fell apart, though eventually they had some sort of falling out. It was probably only a matter of time, since my ex wasn't by nature their "type" These girls really were nuts, I'm talking "Jerry Springer" nuts too.

Many of these friends around for when the house is being broken up split once the work is done.

Well I don't believe it was any sort of preconceived scheme on the part of the "whack-sisters" or anything to simply 'destroy a marriage, then move on to the next victim" thing.

So being more demanding in the situation would have helped you?

I don't know, really. More 'demanding?' Demanding stuff rarely works well for any life situation, so probably not. But yes, I think I probably should have put up more resistance, in hindsight. Probably should have asserted my misgivings about her hanging with these troublemakers a bit stronger. I've never been one to tell folks who they can be friends with, other than my kids when they were younger. But sometimes what seems right isn't. I should have been more assertive. These girls were nuts, and she did have enough sense I could likely have made a decent case for her curtailing her activities with these moronic white trash nutballs.

. . . Or did it matter since she was not listening by time she got deep into it.

I'm not sure what you mean by that really, DLS.

So looking back are you saying there was nothing you could have done or it would have been too complex? What did the problem look like looking back ( define the problem )?

Oh no, I'm not saying at all that there aren't things I could have done, nor am I saying it was too complex. I'm not sure you're referring to my breakup as a whole or are we still talking about her talking to her friends? Not sure how to define it, or even what you want me to define, really.

. . . Or did it matter since she was not listening by time she got deep into it.

What I meant by this, was by time she spent time talking about you to her friends, and she got closer to these people she was working with that it was perhaps too late. They hadmore influence on her than you did? That she saw things more like they did and felt like she did not relate to you?

So looking back are you saying there was nothing you could have done or it would have been too complex? What did the problem look like looking back ( define the problem )?

I was wondering what the over all problem looked like in its portions. So you have your wife on her way to an affair, perhaps bridging her to it was hanging out with these co-workers and doing more and more late night activities. Perhaps along the way she's dropping committments with you, causing more disrespect, pulling away, etc. I was just wondering all the pieces of that problem and you are making me look at my problem today at this slice in time as a piece of parts.