i had a session with the ic today and made a discovery about my r with h.
a few times, i've been asked by folks on the board what our LL were.
i thought my LL was physical touch. but after reading a few of my own posts, my LL isn't really physical touch. physical touch is a close second but my true LL is quality time.
i wrote in earlier posts that i wanted my h because i enjoy spending time with him. the things i valued were our vacations, birthdays, anniversaries, lovemaking, knowing that he has my back and i have his, facing adversity together, and share embarrassing moments together.
i also learned that h's LL was receiving gifts.
before our blow up at the end of december, h had said some things that hurt my feelings. when i told him that it hurt my feelings, he brushed me off and didn't understand why i was so hurt by it. as a result, i did not buy him this kitchen gadget that he really wanted for christmas. i was by the words he said and then i was more hurt because i flat out told him and he didn't acknowledge it. so i couldn't get myself to hit the "order" button. he found out that i didn't buy it and my guess is that he felt unloved by me doing that.
i felt like i was neglected or invisible when his parents are around. i didn't get the quality time that i wanted.
i can remember our first anniversary. my fil was in town and on our anniversary night, i booked a night at a fancy hotel. i called h and told him to meet me there. fil was not happy that i stole my h away for a night with me. this move came back to bite me. all i wanted was a special night with my h. my fil was in town for 2 weeks. i couldn't even steal my h away for 1 night on our first anniversary.
most of the time, that's all i want. is quality time with my h. spend a weekend in bed together. we did that during our dating years. why did we stop doing that after we got married?
h claims that lack of bedroom action was a reason for d-filing. but i'm revving to go for an entire afternoon and he rather go shopping for home decor.
me in victoria secret cheeky panties? or home decor shopping to decorate the home for his parents?
i'm not the money hungry biatch that h has made me out to be. i'm not impressed by expensive gifts. every time h tries to buy me a gift, i tell him i don't need those things. he thinks that buying me gifts is a way to show his love. in reality, that's his LL. and i messed up by not buying him the kitchen gadget he wanted.
