You're very lucky to have her. She may wind up being a part of why your W comes back... let's hope they solve their issues during/after your W's MLC.
My MIL stood up and told H that she would not accept OW and that I am her daughter now, not just a DIL, and he needs to get counseling. He said "you don't understand, I have been feeling this way for YEARS, ma, YEARS." She said "BS" and he left in a huff, wrote her an email, told her she hurt his feelings and she lost a son in this... then a week later was back at her house with a new arsenal about how crazy I was and no one but he has ever seen that "dark" side of me... she said "BS" and repeated her script... LOL... he was back a week later again trying to get her to accept his new "soul mate" and she had out our wedding pictures and family pictures all over the house. He is NOT happy. I made sure he saw that I have a key to her house. He doesn't have a key to her house. Said "how do you rate?" She's been reading MLC websites so that she knows how to react and what to expect. It's hard on them, though, and so I have made a promise only to ask for their help when he starts to really go off the deep end and leave them out of the every day stuff.
It is very important to him that MIL/FIL accept his new OW so he can move on... and she refuses. It really throws a kink into his plans.
I liken it to those sci fi movies, when you have a robot and you ask it a question outside of it's programming... the head twitches back and forth, it starts spewing "does not computer, does not compute" and then the head blows up...
These MLCers have their little scripts written in their heads, they see their futures all planned out (in Hollyweird scripts) and then someone doesn't go along and it just makes them throw a temper tantrum like crazy. My MIL sent me the pages long emails he would send her, very disjointed and crazy, trying desperately to convince her... and then "does not compute, does not computer" and he'd throw a temper tantrum that I'd be embarrassed if a four year old threw.
Well, sorry to write a book. Just thought you may get a kick, a little different than your W as she had real issues with her mother, my MIL was controlling but loving, so not as bad... but I'm still sure that he's projecting her control issues onto me, so it seems to be an issue in his MLC.
