Number 8's Revelations, Mistakes, and New Methods

[Number 8]

Well, the cat burglar joke was pretty much on a tee!

But it takes a quick wit to hit it off the tee!!!

[Virtually_Handsome]

Why, thank you kindly, dear lady!

[Onthemountaintop]

"Gonna get my stuff" (him)

"It is your decision. I love you and want us to try again" (you)

Could this work?

[Number 8]

"Gonna get my stuff" (him)

"It is your decision. I love you and want us to try again" (you)

Could this work?

I'm interested in your idea. When you have time, would you elaborate more?

I'm also curious to see what you think about his numerous plans to come, his NOT coming, and my not mentioning it/asking questions about it to him.

[Onthemountaintop]

I just think that during some occasions, you have an opportunity to remind him that your goal remains constant - to have a happier life for both of you together while giving him free space to go where he wants.

He "may" be planning simply to talk. Open up the conversation if you can about topics he and you used to love talking about...it may lead to coffee or whatever.

Or not. Big risks have big rewards and big drops.

[Virtually_Handsome]

It might be worth a try. And it isn't really a big risk. The only thing you stand you lose, you don't have anyway!

But.... only do it once. More than that is pursuing, and if he reacts poorly the first time, it isn't going to get any better the second time.

[flowmom]

Hey 8, I've been MIA. So glad to read about the progress that you're making . Way to go girl! I'm going to keep calling you 8 because it's lucky but I agree with Mindfull that you're a ten.

[rr22]

Saturday sounded great. Getting out helps. Like dad on the rain. Wonder how long it will take him to come get his stuff. Wonder if it's ambivalence or emotional avoidance or good old depression. Hard to say. Hope you have a good week.

[Number 8]

I just think that during some occasions, you have an opportunity to remind him that your goal remains constant - to have a happier life for both of you together while giving him free space to go where he wants.

This is very well put. Thanks for clarifying.

He "may" be planning simply to talk. Open up the conversation if you can about topics he and you used to love talking about...it may lead to coffee or whatever.

Or not. Big risks have big rewards and big drops.

And that's what's scary, right? The risks and rewards and let-downs.

[Number 8]

It might be worth a try. And it isn't really a big risk. The only thing you stand you lose, you don't have anyway!

So true! You're right--I don't have it.

But.... only do it once. More than that is pursuing, and if he reacts poorly the first time, it isn't going to get any better the second time.

Yes, you're right here, too. I don't want to be a nag or seem needy. Sooooooo unattractive.