WAW Using God II

[pigskin]

Well the difference is that she hasn't expressed interest in those other men. Just the one. She knows it.

Have you ever thought of asking her how it would look like if you were going out with someone in front of your children and what kind of example it would be setting?

IMO it sounds like your W needs a truth dart right now. For example, my W told me that since our D's miss her when she's not home, her solution was to give her full custody since it would be in "their best interest". I asked her point blank if she thought about the kids while she was carrying on with her boss. Or if she thought about them when she left. And that she told me herself that ideally it would be in the kids' best interest for both parents to be together. And so I challenged her to think of how she could possibly be thinking about the kids' best interest.

That shut her down pretty quick and she became alot nicer. I had read on another MLC site that sometimes since the WAs's moral compass becomes twisted based on their current warped thinking, the LBS should remind them about what the "truth" is and correct them when they are acting wrong or re-writing history. It's true you validate them, but up to a certain point. When they start making ridiculous accusations, it's time to step up.

And you say it in a "matter-of-fact" manner and not an accusatory one.

But that's just me.

I hear what you are saying about the truth dart. It's just that reasoning with her has been fruitless before. She seems that lost in the fog.

I don't mean to come off as argumentative either; I'm just discussing a point that I'm struggling with - enforcing that boundary.

In a more amazing testament to God working in this, today I got a reply back from my lawyer friend of a friend recommending a lawyer to speak to. Just prior to that I read an irritating comment from the OM through a communication channel that neither my W nor the OM realize I am aware of. Needless to say it p***ed me off, and I was planning on contacting the lawyer tomorrow to have an initial discussion.

Tonight my W called to tell me the guy who baptized her asked for my number, and that he would call me later. He called and said my W's church leadership is engaged in the situation and is planning to intervene. This was from out of the blue. I had spoken to the guy weeks ago but hadn't heard from him since. He told me he had a very encouraging talk with my W and has a good feeling about it. He said he has seen the OM and said he wanted to say something to him but didn't think it was his place just yet. But he and the others in the church are going to talk to him.

Now whether that will do anything remains to be seen. But once again I was at the ledge and have been coaxed down. Coincidence? I think not...