As if she created this train wreck and could see no other option but to see it to the crash because she "felt" like it. I don't know.
Were you ever in that position? When you had your doubts of coming back?
I find it hard to believe she would feel like chosing to see the crash, but more that she feels powerless. I can say that b/c I was in that position. Not as long as your W has been, but yes I certainly had doubts and wondered which way would be less painful.....to watch the crash (with the train running over me) or for me to take off running.
The shame was over-whelming for her Sunday. Nothing brings shame like feeling like a bad mother. And....unless it's abuse, what could make you feel more like a bad mother besides having an A? Everytime my kids get me one of those mushy Mother's Day cards, I always wish I could live up to what the verse says. She didn't take communion b/c of her guilt and probably thinking she didn't deserve it (IDK).
I'm wondering if when you see her as acting "cold"....if that's when she is dealing with her own personal demons. I guess you've tried different things to see if you could pull her out of it. You know her best and what she will respond to, so show compassion toward this woman you love and I truly believe that it will help to heal the wounds.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
