I just can't take it anymore

[james217]

James~

I have good days and I have awful days and if you don't believe me I can point you in the direction of some of my support system who frequent the board - People who are there day and night - No matter what...

I have days where all I want to do is cut however I don't...

I choose to not allow my circumstances to define me...

I choose to win - Regardless of what is going on around me..

It isn't easy and I would never tell you it is going to be easy...

However each day becomes a little more bearable...My Faith has been tested as well as my beliefs and I am not embarrassed to admit it...

I came here with zero self-worth, zero self-respect and zero self-integrity...

I was the quintessential doormat and I still am at times...It is a work in progress however you have to make the decision to do the work...

For you and no one else.

the thing is it's so hard to cut her off. I love and care about her deeply.

as soon as something bad happens she turns to me and I try to encourage and support anyway I can.

She's needed me several times even over the past 2 months but she can't be there for me? Maybe she's afraid of me well she said she doesn't trust me when I get mad or act like that she also said she's afraid of me and her. I don't know. I have got to get a hold on me. The sad thing is I keep repeating myself. I can feel it. Alot of times I realize it sooner than later.