Not Sure Where I Am

[RedHeadWife]

Ok, so H is fine. We're not sure if it is a sinus infection or just allergies or what, but we both just felt achy & like crap the whole weekend. Both feeling better today.

Ok, so SIL & I finally get off the phone after I tell her calmly how I feel about her texting H and asking about inviting this woman who happens to be H's ex-fiance to this party we went to this past weekend. She finally gets of the phone, saying "I'm going to go before I get mad." Whatever!

So 10 minutes later the door bell rings (I'm at H's mom's) and she barges through the house (I was out back) and proceeds to scream & yell at me for about 10 minutes, starting w/ "So what if my brother cheated on you a few times," etc etc. meanwhile my boys are in the house. THAT obviously pissed me off (that my boys may have been able to hear her say that stuff).

Anyway, I stood up to her, which she's not used to b/c she's a pretty big girl & has a pretty loud & upfront personality, but so can I when I want to, I'm just not as big physically as she is, but I sure can be as big in personality.

So she finally leaves. Later that night, her family came over b/c there had been a dinner planned & I was the first to say something to her (not about what had happened), but to break the ice b/c I knew if she & I ignored each other that night that the episode would continue for who knows how long. I guess I was just being the bigger person. So the next day, before we left to go home, I had her take me to the book store & just acted like nothing had happened. I know now that she's REALLY embarrassed by her actions & the woman was NOT invited to the party (or she just didn't show up anyway).

Ok, so this past weekend, Friday night we get there & this is now the party which we had the fight over & H's mom is being a royal b!tch to me the minute I walk in the door (and it's 11:30 at night for goodness sake!!)

I ended up crying in bed that night & H tells me I'm "personalizing" things. Whatever. I told him "I don't even feel like you love me anymore." He said "Of course, I still love you" and that was the extent of it. This is what I get from my H. Had I lay there crying & not said anything to him, he would have known I was crying, but would not have even said anything to me.

The next day, we were ready to leave for the graduation & my youngest wakes up (since we had gotten in so late & it was only 8:15) and he's coughing like it hurts in the chest & is crying about it. Well, I said maybe I should stay home would him & H's aunt could go in my place (she was going to stay w/ the boys). H's mom got P!SSED OFF!! Oh, my gosh, you would not believe her eyes. I finally said to her "I realize you're stressed about this party & all, but I really don't appreciate the attitude I've been getting last night & today" So luckily H says to me to stay w/ my baby (ok, he's 4, but he's still my baby), so I did & he told his mom that he & aunt would just catch up & they all ended up getting there on time.

So I'm sobbing. I told H I didn't realize why they were all being so mean to me. I was the one who just dropped that other whole incident & I didn't know why they were still mad at ME for it. I knew that SIL had already told aunt about it, etc.

When they all got home, though, H's mom hugged me & I told her I didn't understand, yadda yadda yadda & all was fine.

It still kind of pisses me off when my H doesn't stand up for me though, but I guess he knows I can take care of myself, but still. It'd be nice if he would actually say something to one of them when they behave that way.

The end result of all of this though was H and I seem closer for some reason. Even though he didn't stand up to me, I went out to where he was when I was crying the second day & he held me & we've just been closer ever since. I'm just hoping this feeling of closeness continues. I don't know if it will or not. I guess I just need to make sure it does with MY actions.