Calm down. I think it's safe to say we have all felt a little like dying during all of this. Part of us does die. We have to let the part that is still inside flourish and grow. No easy task and it takes time.
Get the help that you need. Vent here all you want. People who don't even know you are worried about you. This is a life changing event. You have to make the decision to deal with it no matter how hard it seems to be at any given time. Go off somewhere and cry, scream, and get it all out. But, be done with it for a while. The feelings creep back, it's normal. What is not normal or healthy, is not dealing with them. We all hurt. I don't think you are hurting any more than me, or CG, or anyone else that has found themselves in this shi77y situation.
I don't know what else to say. GET SOME HELP. Please!
