My husband is addicted to an emotional affair

[TrentC]

I think the ow doesn't need him snd he thinks I don't so the answer in his head is d.

But you don't know that. We tell people all of the time that mind-reading is fruitless because you can't know how he feels because he may not know how he feels.

That is also why we say pay attention to his actions, not his words. He may say whatever he is feeling at the moment, where his actions will be a truer indicator of how he feels. (It also avoids the tendency to rewrite history in the mind of the WAS.)