I just can't take it anymore

[james217]

rob I wish we could trade places for a day. Then you can see why "I'm bitching" about being woke up only to get nothing resolved even if I show up at an appointment or take care of business or do what's asked nothing changes.

Mate, I spend my days watching people watch their children/spouses/parents/siblings die; telling parents that unfortunately despite best efforts their child died whilst they weren't there; parents beside themselves with worry and grief and uncertainty as their baby or child unexpectedly lies in an intensive care unit fighting for it's life.

These are very sobering to be around. We have all got it lucky right now.

Many of those I see in the worst situations still crack a joke, give a smile and do positive things, even if it is only to agree to organ donation. They humble me every day. I strive to be like them in times of adversity - to see the small positive amongst the huge negative, to grasp it and carry it and use it.

TAKE CONTROL!
CHOOSE POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE.
NEGATIVE IS NOT NICE TO BE AROUND!

and no one thinks i've done that? lol I've spent hours walking places fighting through issues sticking it out cracking jokes and trying to be encouraging and happy.

I've set aside my own feelings to help and encourage others and sacrifice and work my butt off for people.

It's only so long you can fake it. I can't fake it no more. i'm fed up angry pissed off and tired of faking it.

I'm tired of being mr positiivity for everyone. That's one of the main things people say now.

They don't see the smile or laughter in me anymore. The person who always saw the light at the end of the tunnel

Well TOUGH [censored] TITTY.

i just want to break things. windows chairs whatever I can get my hands on. And this IS NOT HOW I USED TO BE AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IM THIS [censored] WAY AND I CAN'T GET SUPPORT OR HELP FROM FAMILY OR FRIENDS AT ALL

I BEEN LIKE THIS FOR A YEAR BEGGING FOR HELP AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WTF IS WRONG NOBODY CAN TELL ME.

ALL THEY SAY IS HANG IN THERE. YOU'LL GET THE HELP DAMNIT I'M ON THE CLIFF READY TO JUMP OFF

I CAN'T TAKE IT NO MORE NO MORE NO MORE NO MORE NOM REONOERIAHRFOHEAPHGFLKAHEGKLJAHGTFBSJDB;LFDJ KHDL2 cm,nm0-9qbsqnm ,n]';l