It sounds to me like you are well on you way to that great destination known as detachment. It is a terrible journey, but a necessary one.
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Of course having children messed up the equilibrium that we had established in our 11 years together. No way could I maintain the level of financial and emotional independence that I always had. I thought that children changed the rules. I was wrong.
Me too.
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And of course I struggle daily with heartbreak for my children. If I could make that deal with the devil to provide them with a happy life as an intact family, I would, without question. A mother`s happiness is intimately tied to that of her children.
I am right there with you. As you said, we can only control ourselves. It doesn't make it any easier, though. The kids are innocent. BTW, my W is the one who says the kids will be fine. This after telling me she couldn't have hand picked a better father for the kids. I guess I spent too much time being a good dad and not enough being a good husband. Like you, I always thought there would be time for "us" after the kids grew up or a least got a little older. Now I know better. Hopefully not too late.
Again, you are a strong person. We all learn from our mistakes. You will be a better person for all of this mess. All we can do is try to lesson the pain on our kids and love them and cherish them. And I know that you do!
