help some advice plse..have i finished it for good

[JacT]

Lin you are a very very intuitive woman! and very emotionally intelligent.I am very stubborn.(long winded but here goes)

I divorced him because of the cdg and the lack of support as a new mother.He was devestated.That day remains very vivid in my mind.He never ever gave up.He saw our D every day(she was 2).
So we had the chance to rebuild our R.I had an EA at this point.
I left him in Nov 91 and d him in May 92.We remarried in Dec94 but lived apart for prob a year and then moved in together.He couldnt believe when i suggested we renew our vows.

When I found out about A I asked him if he would give up R.He stumbled a bit but said no she gave him confidence in himself.(he made no mention of dumping her but was clearly working out what to do)I said i cannot believe you are not fighting for our M he said you would never trust me again Jac.

In between this he said he didnt want to go,I made him take off his wedding ring etc.He didnt tell me he was going to her he said was going to dads.He went straight to her.She proceeded to tell the world we are so happy would live in cardboard box.

I stretched my hand out to him at 8/12/13 weeks.I was trying to sort out his R with the girls who didnt want to know him.
8 weeks-hugged me when he came and said good to see you.
Did you plan to leave us..no absolutely not.
You said you loved me-I do and will love you always, we had a great 28 years..
why the h*ll did you have A. cos it felt right.

OW has said D not seeing me so I will come home,suggested she get my own place but we would still see each other(how does she know how our D thinks and convinced she was making it clear she could throw him out any time).He had not changed his address at this time.Remained there.(I think she was getting annoyed at his apparent depression i dont doubt she knew he loved us)
Asked him about Divorce said he didnt want one.I told him I wouldnt divorce him again.

I thought at this point he wanted to ask me to come home but thought he wouldnt last much longer.

12 wks-came from work.told us he had changed his address.talked about life with her our, youngest D really upset.
13 weeks saw youngest for half an hour.She was unwell.I told him he could see her any time and call her.He called following night and said he would sit with her at week end.Never called until Mon arranged to see her Tue.My d txt and said she didnt want to see him again.

NO CTC SINCE APART FROM TXT EVERY AM AND PM.The girls do not respond.
My only txt was asking for D.

I am certain he knows divorce doesnt need to be final.I think ow was a gold digger and he is perhaps just realising this.To keep peace he is using house etc as a bargaining tool.

He has lost a lot of weight and told his dad he cant face his girls.He has told a mutal friend life has never been so good.(I dont believe cos he hasnt got his kids.)
Youngest d txt him and asked if he was happy..he said his life would be so much better if the girls were in it.

Never once has he asked me how I am in all these meetings..never has he txtd and enquired abt the girls..what am I to think..thats perhaps he is happy with her.

A mutal friend says he talks about her like she is a different woman to the one he described previously(needy, tramp, physcho bitch, sad etc)..now she is greatest thing since sliced bread.
Has never discussed his sitch or her with his dad of anyone else.
At work he has not told anyone that he is sepearated and living wwith OW..??(He also told friend a completly diff story to the one I told about the night he left)
Prob, you rightly point out is when in the fog hard to know whats truth and whats lies.